Archive for October, 2009

What Do You Mean There Is No Santa Claus?

October 28th, 2009

I expect people to be ignorant. And people are ignorant regardless of their standing within society. However, there are some subjects where the ignorance from people disappoint me more so than others. Antivaxx thinking being probably at #2 on my list if not #1. Antivaxx rhetoric, lies, misinformation, anti-science, conspiracy theorist, nuttery is dangerous.

Normally I am very happy to agree to disagree on many subjects, even subjects normally very emotionally charged such as theism vs atheism. I like a good debate and exchange of ideas. This is how we learn. I am not an atheist myself. I have many friend who are atheist. I do find fundamentalism on both ends to be equally dangerous HOWEVER I will not stop being a friend with someone for being an atheist, unless I feel they are fundamentally doing harm. Just as I would stop being friends with anyone who believes in some form of Divine entity if I thought what they were saying was dangerous, things that cause parents to set their children on fire or mass suicides or not seeking proper medical care for their children or not teaching evolution as examples.

Antivaxx even in the smallest dose is fundamentally dangerous. I have been removing people from my Facebook who are antivaxx and spread dangerous antivaxx misinformation. If you choose to put yourself at risk by not vaccinating that could be one thing. But by spreading lies and misinformation despite the fact science (let us ignore BigPharma here, I am talking about outside independent studies) has repeatedly shown the antivaxx movement is nothing but a bunch of quacks and as a result putting even more people in danger, to me that is unacceptable. To me, it is the same as preaching fundamental religious beliefs that lead to things such as burning your child alive because you feel they are possessed. I even get really upset when people choose not to vaccinate them self because it puts others in harms way but normally that is not enough for me to stop associating with someone. That falls into a personal freedom over body and thoughts slightly outweighs keeping society safe as a whole thing. Am I making any sense? I do not know if I can make sense right now due to my current state of mind and the conflict I am currently experiencing.

Today I found out someone that I highly respect who also just happens to be influential is a bid of an antivaxxer. I am not going to say who because like I said, I respect this person as a person and not because of their job. I don’t want more people to give them flack or praise for their POV. And some of the things they said is valid, such as investigating. Unfortunately people have done their “investigations” and have fallen victim to the likes of McCarthy et al instead of science which, if done correctly, is free from personal bias. I am conflicted. If it were most other people who came out with something antivaxx, I would stop paying attention to them. In this case, I do not know what to do because they did state they are not giving advice whether to vaccinate or not and told people to do their own investigation. Unfortunately, that is along the same lines as the new anthem sung by McCarthy et al.

I feel as if I were 5 again and just found my parents putting the presents under the Christmas tree with all the tags from Santa or someone just burst one of my favourite balloons.

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Posted in antiscience, antivaxx, personal, science, vaccination, vaccine, vaccines

I Have Been Binged And Other News

October 26th, 2009

So last time we spoke, I did not know if I would be here at the end of the month. Thanks to a very generous offer from a friend, I have been given a one month reprieve. Hopefully in the next week or so I hear back from those I am currently talking sponsorship with.

The other night, someone went crazy on my Geeky Pleasures website. Like seriously crazy. I was checking my host stats and I noticed a new visitor. That part is not weird as I get a lot of new visitors per day. What stood out about this visitor is the amount of pages they had visited. And then I watched as in the next hour they browsed 571 pages of my site. I don’t even think my site has that many pages so they were checking things out more than once.

Now the city of the IP address is Santa Clara. Santa Clara is in the heart of Silicon Valley. Santa Clara is also the HQ of one of the companies I am currently in sponsorship talks with. This has me really nervous because I still have not heard back from them since I submitted all the info they were wanting. I hope the fact they (if it is indeed who I hope it may be) browsed 571 pages and didn’t leave after only a handful of pages means they liked what they saw and I will hear something back very soon. And if it isn’t who I hope it is well then maybe something will come out of it. Who knows. Seriously why would anyone browse 571 pages in one sitting?

My book has been published! Holy sheep shit Batman! I got a really nice comment on Wil Wheaton’s blog today (well now technically yesterday) from a fellow reader about my Geeky Pleasures website and how much they like it and have already stuck in their RSS reader, my writing style, telling me I am very talented and they can’t wait to be paid so they can buy my book and telling other people to buy my book and check out my site. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. This book has been a very emotional experience for me. When it became available for purchase on Friday, I couldn’t stop shaking or get rid of this feeling of nausea. It is very personal to me and for a cause that is near and dear to my heart.

Even so I do things because I like them and I don’t care what other people think, in this case I honestly can say I do care because it is of such a personal nature. I just hope people enjoy it and don’t feel they wasted their money. The other things I put out it doesn’t bother me if they don’t like it because it has taken no investment on their parts to consume it. They can either come on the ride with me or not. This is different. This is not just about me, it is about my children and raising money for Lupus research. I hope its good.

The fact my book is now published has me thinking a lot about my relationship with my boys lately. I was overhearing Kid2 once again going on and on about how cool I am and you could hear the pride in his voice. The same goes for Kid1. I think it is awesome they think I am cool and speak about me with pride. It also makes me teary. I feel so blessed I have such a close relationship with my boys. I did not have that with my mother.

She was not a good parent by any stretch of the imagination and it does not help that she has severe mental illness. People who do not understand what I went through growing up like to say to me “she is ill, you have to realize it is the disease talking and not her.” This really bothers me. I have my degree in Psychology so I do understand it is part of the disease she has. But she chooses to not get treatment and stay crazy and with her illness, it one of the few where the person suffering has an active part in recovery. She has decided to not get treatment.  She has decided to not get better. She made the choice to not have me in her life. For the longest time I hoped and I prayed I could have a real mom. That when I spoke of my mom I could be proud of her and not be ashamed. I gave up on that fantasy a long time ago. So yeah, it really means so much to me that my boys not just love me, but like me.

Tonight was another moment that I decided needs to go into the remember for always always category. It was a brief moment. I asked kid2 if he wanted to watch a movie with me and cuddle. He said sure. So we watched a movie I hate and he loves and cuddled for two hours. After it was done I said to him, “Thank you for watching a movie with me and cuddling. I know how difficult it must have been for you.” To which he replied, “Yeah cause it’s like child abuse.” We both smiled and he resumed watching his shows and I resumed trying to assimilate all that is going on in my life at the moment into some sort of logical thought process.

I wish I could understand Bing. Ever since someone decided to use my Star Trek MMO review as a lure to infect people’s computers with a Trojan, I have been doing vanity searches to make sure that any mentions of articles I have written actually do indeed link to my site. I search both my name and Geeky Pleasures. Some months ago, I made a geekypleasures.com domain at a friend’s suggestion. I forward that domain to my Geeky Pleasures site and it is the name I give out on air when telling people about my site. I have never submitted this domain to any search engines as it is a redirect.  Well Bing has decided to list it in search results for Geeky Pleasures. Bing has also done one better. They have given my site and me a new title.

According to Bing geekypleasures.com is Geeky Pleasures with Jules the Awesome. No where in my meta tags, site title, site name or site description meta tags, no where on my site does it say anything about Jules the Awesome. Seriously, how does Bing come up with these things? I had to giggle at it. Then I decided to do a search on Yahoo (something I never do but figured what the hell. Does anyone still use Yahoo?) and they have followed suit by calling me Jules the Awesome. However, at least they have a site description underneath that lets people know its a redirect to juliasherred.com.

So should I sign all my posts now “from Jules the Awesome?”

I am not serious, I just think it is funny and it was kind of an ego booster when I needed it.

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Posted in Lupus, children, family, internet, personal

Away Again Maybe?

October 20th, 2009

I have been very bad about updating my personal blog lately. I have a lot going on and in the past I would have had time to keep updating this part of my online stuffs. Lately, unfortunately this has not been the case.

Good things going on:

  • Have some cool interviews coming up on my Geeky Pleasures radio show including the developer’s of Torchwood from Runic Games and Paul and Storm and a few others that I am not allowed to talk about just yet.
  • My book is soon to be released. Got copyright permission from Phil Plait and DISCOVERmagazine.com to use a couple small portions of Phil’s blog. Just waiting on the cover to be completed.
  • Getting a lot of unsolicited requests from different companies to demo their products and write reviews on them.
  • My Geeky Pleasures website is getting huge traffic.
  • About to take over as the GM of the radio station.
  • Waiting on a few sponsorship deals.

But none of these good things will matter at all come next week unless a new contract falls into my lap in the next 7 days. I was just notified 2 days ago that as of the end of this month, a PR contract I currently have will be no longer until sometime next year. Due to financial constraints on their end, they have to put it on hold for the time being. But they would like me to know that they do plan on using my services again once their financial situation changes, they think I did an awesome job and feel awful about the short notice and realize what a burden this puts on me.

I am not resentful of this. And I appreciate the positive feedback and the knowledge that the job is still there, just not now. But the just not now is the part that blows as this job is what keeps me online so that I am able to do all the good things above. Without it, there are no interviews, no Geeky Pleasures website for people to visit and people to talk sponsorship with. Without it there is no taking over the radio station. Without it there will be no book as everything for the book is submitted online. The timing of this could not be worse. I have a lot of deals currently in the works. If this news had come a month or so from now, I would probably be okay. The timing though just really really sucks. It has made it difficult for me to concentrate on getting any work done because I am thinking what is the point if  a week from now it will no longer exist. Everything I have worked so hard at is about to fall around my feet.  I have exhausted most if not all of my resources that I feel comfortable calling upon. Does not mean I have given up. I am just having a hard time rallying my inner troops and finding the drive to push even harder to perform a miracle in 6 days.

Man, I wish I was good at pimping myself out *sigh* but I always feel so stupid and guilty when I do anything closely resembling self promotion.

So if I suddenly you do not see me anymore come the end of this month, you will no why.

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Posted in personal

If Jenny McCarthy et al Can Do It, Why Can’t We?

October 13th, 2009

I have been obsessed with antivax nonsense yet again and with good reason. I have been ranting and raving all over the place over the lunacy. Last night, I made another public rant on Phil Plait’s blog “Beck and Limbaugh agree with far left, Satan shivers.”  If you are too lazy to click the link and read through the hundreds of comments to find mine, here it is:

“And there is no evidence either that Satan shivered. Why on earth must people get so tied up in such a small point and completely overlook Phil’s point?

To whoever this reply applies to as I am too lazy to find the actual comment: Why is it that because Phil puts himself out there and expresses his scientifically based decision on vaccines people are now going to fact check everything he says? You know its not like Phil is deciding to re-write the laws of gravity here. He just wants people to get the real facts, suck it up, get vaccinated and save people’s lives. WOW Phil is a monster! And I do not want to hear that is what McCarthy et al are doing, but it is not. They don’t care if people die as long as it serves “the cause”. They consider the deaths causalities of war, plain and simple.

How about we all hold hand and sing kumbaya and nitpick the little points while people get ill, infirmed and/or die. Then after we have done this we can look into the eyes of the family members who have to deal with the aftermath and explain to them why we were to busy singing songs and yelling at each other to get a bloody needle.

Look into the eyes of Dana McCaffery and explain to her why she got whooping cough. OH WAIT! You can’t because she is dead. Explain it to the child then who had a heart transplant as a baby why his heart is being rejected because it was just a simple flu that does not kill like the regular flu does. Look into the eyes of the children you may orphan because their parents are immuno-compromised and explain to them why you are risking leaving them parentless.

If you have the nerve to look into these people’s faces and say “Sorry we can’t get our needle because (insert poor excuse here unless it is a valid medical reason)” as they lay there really really sick… well then you don’t want to know what I think about that.

I ranted about this last night on my personal blog. I ranted about it today when I was given a leaflet saying H1N1 is a man made vaccine and conspiracy to kill people and turn them into zombies type BS and for BigPharma to make millions and I am ranting about it again.

Yes I am being a bit of an alarmist here but the above is many people’s reality. They have to worry about illness in ways many people do not even imagine. But I think it is time to stop being nice about it and shake people into reality. If McCarthy et al want to scare people into not vaccinating then why can’t people use the same shock and scare tactics but with science to back them up? And this flu (as someone has already pointed out) is not just killing those at higher risk, but normally healthy people as well.”

After this rant, I was up all night subjecting myself to stupid video after stupid video with McCarthy et al on a various of different “news” programs and talk shows spewing the same dangerous garbage and shifting the goal post. I could not sleep because I was so upset over this and the comments of people who honestly believe this garbage caused me to shake.

You know, McCarthy is one smart cookie and business woman despite the fact she comes off as a raving lunatic for those of us who are grounded in reality. You want to know why she is smart? Because she has put a face to her crazy, her poor poor autistic son Evan. She has made millions off of her poor poor autistic son Evan and has made others millions. She preys on people’s emotions and fears by using words such as “Iran and Iraq” to describe certain things. She states things such as “parent’s anecdotal evidence is real science” to appeal to the parents who are grief stricken over their child’s disorder. She names names and puts a face to her cause. She is smart despite being so wrong and misguided.

One of the biggest criticism of science is that it deals only in stats and numbers. It is cold and unfeeling. I am well aware of this myself as I decided to leave out stats and numbers when I wrote my own blog trying to put a face to Lupus and raise awareness. For many people stats and numbers are boring and they just don’t care. However, if you humanize the equation, people take notice. It is a basic psychological thing. It is why you see in movie after movie and tv show after tv show that when someone is kidnapped, the police/FBI/etc. tell the person making the media plea for the safe return of the victim to say their name over and over again, to turn the nameless and faceless victim into a person.

There are many people in the science and skeptic community trying to bring awareness to this situation and the damage it is doing. Among them are Phil Plait(PhD), Joe Albietz(MD), Steve Novella(MD), Steve Lundquist / Todd W / IVAN3MAN, studies such as the this that have studied the impact of the antivax movement (A Broken Trust: Lessons from the Vaccine-Autism War)

This is an excellent start but I am really starting to believe it is not enough and never be enough because it is not appealing to people’s emotions. One can argue that science shouldn’t appeal to person’s emotions since science is supposed to be emotion free. However, this subject is not emotion free. Now even so I do become of a bit of an extremist and an alarmist when it comes to this issue because it could very well kill me and leave my children parentless and I feel we could learn from the tactics of McCarthy does not mean we should become her. Using terror to fight terror is never a good idea. And even so anecdotes ARE NOT EVIDENCE despite what Jenny McCarthy wants to say, I think it is time we put real faces to this issue. It has already begun with Dana McCaffery’s parents becoming vocal on the tragedy that struck their family. I think it is not enough.

Like it or not, people listen to anecdote. Like it or not people will listen to something because a friend of a friend of a friend said it and swears by it so it must be true. So I think us science people need to start putting faces and names to how the antivax movement is affecting our families and us. Let us humanize the numbers found above in the study and the McCarthy body count. Let us who are science realists, who have children with autism etc speak out without spouting numbers but with real faces. The numbers are there but they are cold. Some of my friends in the science community may not agree or support this idea and that is their choice. What I am proposing is this, blog about your story. But on top of blogging your own story or the story of someone close to you who is affected by this, I am willing to create a page dedicated to these stories so they can all be found in one location.

I have invited the crazies many times to come here and say their garbage to my face. Now I do not know if it is because they can actually kill me and they can’t say it to my face why they continue to believe what they believe or what is the case, but they remain silent. And I know they read this blog. It is not like I do not get a lot of hits. Now I am inviting the other side. I hope you accept this invitation and speak up. Please pass the word and send me feedback and I will create the page ASAP and we can start building the provaccine community and put another face to this issue.

And if you are part of the science community and think this is a bad idea, please let me know why you think it a bad idea as well. We are not always going to all agree on how best to get a message out and if we make that transparent perhaps it will help get the message out that it is all anecdote and do the real research yourself and talk to your doctor.  Despite the fact we want to think our mommy/daddy instincts outweigh a doctor’s education, they do not. We get insane and irrational when our children are sick. We grasp at straws and will cling to anything told to use that brings us any ray of hope. The last thing we want to hear is a doctor we feel is not listening to us. Well they are listening but it is their job to protect our children and keep them healthy, even at times from us parents.

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Posted in Lupus, antiscience, antivaxx, children, chronic illness, family, personal, science, vaccination, vaccine, vaccines

Wonderful Thanksgiving

October 12th, 2009

Today was a much needed mental health break. I had two awesome friends (@Chibi_Tzar and @NuclearWizard) drive up from Victoria to spend a Thanksgiving lunch with me. I was so excited for this because it was my first work free day in a very long time, I got to hang out with fellow geeks whom I met through PAX AND I got to cook for someone else. I love cooking for others. It is one of the biggest things I miss about being in a relationship, cooking for someone who appreciates it.

I decided I was going to make a nice Thai peanut chicken thing. They had asked if there was anything they could bring. I told them if they wanted to, bring a salad and pumpkin pie. Yesterday, I got a phone call asking what kind of chocolate I liked. I said I like it all. I was told that was good to know.

When my guests arrived today, they not only arrived with the stuff required to make a salad as a community and the pumpkin pie, but they brought whipped cream, salad dressing, a beautiful hybrid lily plant, coffee cream, milk, a computer as mine is about to die to get me through until I can get a new one and chocolates!

We had great food, great conversation and a lot of laughs. I cannot wait for them to come up to visit me again soon!

As I have said many times before, the way to my heart is with electronics. Yes flowers are pretty and chocolates are oh so yummy but they are temporary. This flower is not temporary and it is a lily and I have a special affection for lilies. And the chocolates are from my favourite chocolate place in Victoria, Chocolat Chocolatiere de Victoria. MMM MMM MMM handmade chocolates and not just any normal chocolates.

Inside the beautiful box with the beautiful ribbon keeping it sealed are:

  • 2 Chmbord – Raspberry Liqueur in Dark and White Chocolate
  • 1 Chili – Fiery Red Chilies Steeped in Dark Chocolate Ganache
  • 1 Pepe – Dark Chocolate and Tequila Ganache with a Splash of Lime
  • 1 Caramel – Creamy and Smooth, A Caramel Lover’s Dream in  Dark Chocolate
  • 1 Dark Mouse – Non-Dairy, A Dark Chocolate and Hazelnut Delight
  • 1 Crown – Creamy White Grand Marnier Filling in Dark Chocolate
  • 2 Pumpkin Spice
  • 1 Cinnamon – Creamy Cinnamon Ganache in Milk Chocolate
  • 1 Saffron Flower – Saffron with a Hint of Cardamom in White Chocolate
  • 1 Sambuca – All Dark Chocolate with Sambuca Liqueur Filling
  • 1 Mint – White Ganache and Peppermint Essence
  • 1 Almond Cluster – Almonds Covered in Dark Chocolate
  • 2 Butterscotch Pecan – Butterscotch and Chopped Pican
  • 2 Strawberry Passion – Strawberry Puree with White Ganache Filling, 1 White and 1 Dark.

I am having a very hard time deciding which to eat first. Eating chocolate should not be this difficult!

Today rocked for so many different reasons. Number 1 though (despite my tease with the chocolates) was spending a holiday with awesome friends.

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Posted in family, personal

Ranting Again

October 11th, 2009

I really wish I had something truly wonderful to write about lately, but I don’t. This time of the year is never a good time for me. And this year, it just keeps getting worse. It is coming up on the cold and flu season. And thanks to all the wonderful crazies out there and people reacting out of fear and ignorance instead of science and logic, I get to spend the winter in reverse quarantine. YAY! I guess one good thing has come out of all the crazy stupid. I have been inspired to write a second book entitled “The Stupidity of Humanity.” This book will take a long time to write and it will be a rant and I know it will anger people on both sides of the fence since I am going to take a middle ground on a lot of issues and not so middle ground on a lot of others.

I feel sorry for my followers on Twitter at times because I am not sure if they are aware of why I rant so loudly against certain thing, the Antivax movement being one of my loudest rants. Here is an example of my latest rant:

Everytime something like this happens, I am filled with such rage! A DC laywers (Jim Turner) is suing the FDA to prevent approval of the H1N1 vaccines based on falsified information. FFS! When is the insanity going to end?!? Info via @achura RAGE! JULES SMASH!

Maybe I should write a second book entitled “The Stupidity of Humanity” which would be a complete rant against idiots.

JULES SMASH! “He’s suing 2 stop Swine Flu vaccine on behalf of a client who sells snake oil fake medicine http://j.mp/1m7F35 (via @achura )

Just because you don’t get sick, doesn’t mean you do not carry disease that can kill babies, elderly, the immuno-compromised, transplant patients, cancer patients, those who on the outside look healthy but are not. Just get jabbed already.

And if you think the side effects of the shot are bad imagine how sick you would be if you actually got the disease you are being protected from

Look into the eyes of a child who’s parent you helped kill or the eyes of a dying child or elderly person & explain to them your choice.

I am one of those parents that you will get to explain to my children why something as the “simple flu” took away their mother. Hell even if you are a normally healthy person, these diseases that vaccines help prevent can make you seriously ill. I am so tired of the look I get from my children when I am sick. The look of fear and panic that this illness is the one that is going to take away their mom. They have spent their lives with a mom who has been in and out of hospital more times that one can count. I am a single mother who relies on public transportation to feed her children. I do not have physical support. So of course I get really angry and upset when people just don’t care to understand. I get really angry when the normally sane Canadian health authorities stop the normal fall flu schedule. I break down in tears when my child comes to me and says, “um will you live… and don’t lie to me.” Right now the elephant in the room is HUGE and I cannot ignore it. If I ignore the fact I have Lupus at this moment, it could mean my death.

And it is not only just because of my situation why I rant the way I do against this idiocy, but there are millions of families just like mine. Babies are already dying in countries such as Australia because of all of this nonsense. Australia is not some third world country that does not have the resources to protect the population and babies are dying. Look in the face of of Dana McCaffery’s parents and explain to them why their baby had to die. Explain to them that it is a necessary casualty of war against the BigPharma. Explain to them and the other parents who’s children have died of pertussis because they were too young to be vaccinated and there is no herd immunity.

Explain to the family members of transplant patience, cancer patients, the elderly why their family members are dead because you were either too lazy to get jabbed or you gave into the fear mongering or you used the excuse “I never get sick.” Explain it those who cannot be vaccinated to do allergies why they are sick. Explain it!

Just because you never get sick, does not mean you cannot get others sick. Call it my crazy socialists ways, but it our jobs to protect everyone from these things. What good are we if we are sick, infirmed or dead.

As I said on Phil Plait’s blog last night, we have become lazy and complacent in our instant gratification society. People expect perfect knowledge and heaven forbid there are mistakes made along the way. That is how we learn. That is how we grow. That is how we make advancements and better products. Yes there have been some mistakes made in science and medicine along the way, but we deal with them and move on. Nobody has ever denied that, except for the denialists. As someone pointed out in the comment section, our parents never thought twice about jabbing us. My response to this was perhaps it is because they grew up in a time where they saw first hand the devastating effects of mumps, measles, polio, whooping cough etc. We are lucky enough to be in a part of the world were up until recently, those diseases were under control.

Are you going to have to see a resurgence in these diseases to kick your lazy asses into motion and get a simple needle? I really hope not.

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Posted in Dr. Phil Plait, Lupus, antiscience, antivaxx, children, chronic illness, family, personal, science, vaccination, vaccine, vaccines

Awesome Friends Are Awesome

October 6th, 2009

I have been a little crazy lately. Self has even said to me, “Jules, you are a fucking loon right now. Get a hold of yourself before I smack you upside the head!” And I say to self, “I know you are right. I am just crazy right now. It will pass.” I have had a few little number of changes happen the last few months (read a lot of big changes). Some have been positive and some have been not so positive. The not so positives I have been able to see a positive in them. The positives I have seen negatives in as well.

But thank whomever people want to thank whenever they are thankful, I have awesome friends who have been by my side through this process. Some more deep in the trenches than other, but regardless of quantity of time spent while this process of change has been occurring, the quality is the same regardless. Some of these friends have known me for a short time and some of them have known me for years upon years. Some of these friends I have yet to meet face to face but regardless I still consider them to be friends. Because even so we have not had the chance to meet face to face, we have become connected through whatever means and they have been beyond supportive. It could be as simple as a short tweet of encouragement that speaks volumes to the support they have for me or a long e-mail telling me to keep my chin up or an offer to help from a few short kilometers away to 10s of thousands of kilometers away.

Some of theses friends sit on the phone with me and listen for hours while I rant and rave, cry and vent and then remind me why I do what I do to begin with. Some of these friends do the same thing either through IM or hang out with me for hours on Skype and webcam and just goof around with me and allow me to blow off some much needed steam. And they too ask me to repeat out loud why it is that I do and to not let the detractors take away from it. They help me to find my inner strength that they are still able to see when I feel that I am drowning.

Because I have felt like I have been drowning for some time now. I have had many moments as of late where I think “maybe it is best if I just unplug again.” And no sooner am I having one of these thoughts, even if it is not voiced, a friend will do something or say something to me that reminds me that even though there is a lot of shit right now to deal with and I am very uncomfortable with a few situations, to ignore those situations and to breathe. They keep reminding me to remind myself I do things because I enjoy it. They remind me to continue to do things as if no one is watching and if people come for the ride, great!They remind me if people want to be douches, to try my best to ignore it and not let it get to me. Ignoring the douches is proving difficult at times but I think I am starting to find my calm again. They remind that I am not wasting my time because for the most part I do enjoy everything I do in life and to just remember that.

They let me rant. They let me be crazy. They let me cry. They let me doubt myself. They let me question myself. They don’t judge. They offer support. They remind me that I am loved and cared about. And I know that as long as I have my friends, that as long as I have people that care for me and love me, even when I feel that I am sinking or slipping and falling, I will never actually sink, slip or fall.

Awesome friends are awesome.

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Posted in personal